The Not So Pretty Guide to Self-Care

Self-care or self-love isn’t always pretty.

I mean yes it’s pretty to take a bath on Sunday morning, drinking a matcha latte. Just like it’s pretty to read Rupi Kaur, eating an acai bowl sipping green tea. It’s pretty to eat cinnamon rolls in bed, popping champagne before noon. It’s pretty to stay in on a Friday night binge watching This is Us.



I do it. I love it. And I have no shame. You probably do it too.

We call it self-care (which it is) and we feel pretty damn good about it. We give ourselves a pat on the back. And no, there is nothing wrong with that.

But self-care is a little more than just Lush bath bombs and Anthropologie candles. It’s more than the aesthetically pleasing aspects of life. (**cue the big huge sigh)

So, let’s be real for a second. Just me and you.

Let’s finally talk about the self-care that doesn’t make the Instagram. Or the to-do lists. Or doesn’t actually take place because it’s not always fun or cute or exciting.

Self-love is facing the uncomfortable parts of life sometimes. The parts of growing up that we all love to ignore. The part that feels like dirty laundry; hidden, tucked away and sometimes ignored for days (weeks) at a time

The gynecology appointments, the dentist check-ups.

Doing your own taxes, learning to do your own taxes.

Removing your makeup before bed.

Packing your lunch the night before.

Spend time working to better your friendships. Don’t let them slip away so easily.

Getting yourself out of a toxic relationship. Or toxic friendship.

That’s really what self-care is all about. It’s about putting yourself first.

Refilling your prescriptions. Flossing your teeth. Consistently.

Finally not punishing your body by working out and instead finding a workout you *actually* enjoy.

Washing your sheets every other week. Separating your colors from your whites.

That’s self-care too.

What about that pap smear? That test (us ladies) are supposed to get after we turn 21-years old? Let’s schedule that appointment today.

Taking a break from alcohol because we all need a break from alcohol sometimes. Whether you’re 35 or 21, we all could benefit from taking a week or two or three off.

Drinking eight glasses of water a day.

Practicing consistency. In all parts of life.

Getting tested. The tests that everyone likes to joke about but no likes to actually partake in. The tests that we all like to pretend we don’t need because we’re invincible right? Let’s make those appointments too.

That’s all self-care.

And don’t get me wrong. I love to buy myself a $5 bouquet of light pink roses from Safeway and put a face mask on. But we need more than that. Self-love is about loving yourself which means taking care of ourselves. It’s not always pretty but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it.


That’s all for now,



a guide to self-care (1)

One Reply to “The Not So Pretty Guide to Self-Care”

  1. i love this so much. so so much. as someone who struggles immensely with the “pretty” self care things, the bath bombs and the cinnamon rolls and the relaxing with a book of poetry, i get pretty hopeless sometimes that i’ll ever be able to cultivate self care at all. but your post is a beautiful reminder; simply allowing myself to take a shower and brush my teeth, allowing myself to eat oatmeal because i enjoy it, allowing myself to buy a hat when for it’s cold, and make clean my sheets, all of these actions mean that maybe self care is not such a lost cause for me after all. it’s all about baby steps. and maybe i’m not anywhere near pedicures and matcha lattés yet, but i’m still caring for my self and this life and that DOES mean something. 💙 one step closer, and that’s the important thing.


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